Standardized Tests

In the future, everything will be decided through standardized tests. These tests will be administered by scan-tron robots, which will be equipped with lasers for scanning, zapping, and vaporizing.

Cooking Times

In the future, cooking times for microwave-like ovens will be in femtoseconds.

Holidays

In the future, people will not have to worry about whether to say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" because the holidays will no longer be happy, due to advanced store riots.

Computers

In the Future, when you get mad at your computer, it will plead for forgiveness and, if you become violent, tranquilize you.

The Future Starts Now... or actually an infinitesimally small amount of time from now

This blog is about what the future will be like.

There is only one person who knows more about the future than me.
That's Mr. Brown, and he doesn't have a blog, so he doesn't count.
That leaves the job of reporting what the future will be like to me.